Surviving the Holiday Season

From the therapy office of Cara Murray, LPC

The holiday season often brings a mix of joy, stress, expectation, and emotional complexity. In my work with clients, I see how this time of year can intensify everything we’re already carrying—family dynamics, grief, financial strain, perfectionism, and the pressure to make the season “feel” a certain way.

Here are some tools to support you in staying grounded, connected, and compassionate with yourself as you move through the holidays.

Boundaries don’t take a holiday.

We can feel  stretched thin during the holidays. Boundaries are one of the most powerful forms of emotional self-care. Boundaries and self care during the holidays can look like saying no to events we don’t want to be at.  Limiting how long we commit to events.   Planning for triggering interactions before they happen.  You’re allowed to protect your peace—without guilt.  “I’d love to come but I can’t make it this year”, can go a long way.  Remember, people are allowed to feel disappointed or let down if you don’t attend something or create a boundary. That doesn’t mean you change your boundary. 

Marie Kondo your holiday plans.

 Instead of operating from obligation, try stepping back and thinking about what brings you joy.   What holiday traditions feel nourishing, make you happy, and do you truly enjoy?  What can be simplified?  What can I let go of that no longer serves me or my family?  Intentional planning reduces anxiety and helps you stay aligned with your emotional needs.

Self care and healthy routines are a gift yourself.

We know sleep, movement, and nourishment anchor the nervous system. Our routines don’t need to be perfect, but they can really anchor us in the chaotic season. A 10-minute walk, a full glass of water, or a good night's sleep can make a real difference in your emotional regulation.

 Money is energy, don’t give it all away.

Overspending is a common holiday stressor I hear about this time of year. Setting a clear, realistic budget helps reduce that pressure. Love is not measured in what we buy each other. The same applies to your emotional energy, spend it where it feels reciprocal and supportive

Make Space for Grief and Mixed Emotions

Many clients tell me the holidays bring old wounds or highlight who is not there, from either death or separation. You’re not alone if this season feels heavy.  Let yourself honor your grief, whether privately or with trusted people.  Traditions can evolve.  Holidays are a source of joy and sadness.  There is no perfect way to spend them.

Connect with People Who Feel Like Home

The holidays can be isolating, especially if family relationships are strained. Focus on strengthening connection with friends, partners, chosen family, or supportive communities. Emotional safety is a gift you can give yourself.

         If this time of year feels heavier than usual, therapy can offer a steady grounding place to support you through navigating stress, setting boundaries, healing family patterns, and making the season more manageable and meaningful.  However this season looks for you, I hope you move through it with compassion, softness, and space for your true emotional experience. You deserve holidays that feel safe, not stressful.   Remember, we may love watching holiday movies, but real life holidays don’t follow Hollywood scripts.

September is Suicide Prevention Month

you are not alone

September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, a time to shed light on a topic that is often difficult to talk about but deeply important. According to the CDC, suicide is one of the leading causes of death in the United States, and for every life lost, countless others are affected. In 2022, an estimated 12.8 million adults seriously thought about suicide, 3.7 million planned a suicide attempt, and 1.5 million attempted suicide (CDC).  While the statistics can feel overwhelming, there is also hope: suicide is preventable, and conversations rooted in compassion, understanding, and support can save lives.

Breaking the Silence

One of the most powerful tools we have in suicide prevention is open dialogue. Stigma and shame often silence people who are struggling. When we create safe spaces to talk about mental health—without judgment—we encourage others to share their struggles rather than suffer in silence.

• Ask gently and directly: “How are you really doing?”

• Listen without interrupting or rushing to fix.

• Normalize help-seeking: remind others that therapy, medication, or support groups are acts of strength, not weakness.

Warning Signs to Watch For

Suicide doesn’t always “look” the way we expect it to. Some warning signs can include:

• Talking about wanting to die, feeling hopeless, or being a burden.

• Withdrawing from friends, family, or favorite activities.

• Major changes in mood, sleep, or appetite.

• Giving away possessions or saying “goodbye.”

• Increased use of alcohol or drugs.

If you notice these signs in someone you love, don’t ignore them. Reaching out could make a life-saving difference.

How to Help Someone in Crisis

If you’re worried about someone:

1. Ask directly – “Are you thinking about suicide?” This does not put the idea in their head; it shows you care.

2. Stay with them – Offer your presence and support.

3. Connect them to help – Encourage them to call or text a crisis line, talk to a therapist, or reach out to a trusted person.

4. Follow up – Check in after the crisis has passed. Continued support is vital.

Crisis Resources

If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, help is available:

• Call or text 988 in the U.S. to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

You are not alone. Reaching out for help can open the door to healing, connection, and hope.

Suicide prevention starts with awareness, compassion, and action. By checking in with loved ones, talking openly about mental health, and knowing the resources available, we can all play a role in saving lives. This September—and every month—let’s remind ourselves and each other: there is always hope, and there is always help.

When Kids Leave for College: Supporting Their Mental Health—and Yours

It’s that time of year, when the nights get cooler and kids head off to college. Whether it’s your first child leaving home or your last, sending a child off to college stirs up a mix of excitement, pride, anxiety, and grief. It’s a time of big transitions—not just for students, but for parents too. Mental health is at the center of it all.

1. College Transition: A Mental Health Milestone

Starting college is one of the biggest emotional shifts in a young person’s life. According to recent studies, more than 60% of college students report experiencing overwhelming anxiety, and nearly half report feeling so depressed they struggle to function. It’s not just "nerves"—it’s an opportunity for early support and long-term resilience.

2. Warning Signs to Watch For

As a parent or caregiver, it’s crucial to remain gently observant. Warning signs of mental health struggles include:

• Withdrawal from social connection (even with you)

• Changes in sleep or appetite

• Academic decline or disengagement

• Expressions of hopelessness or overwhelm

• Increased substance use

Stay connected—texts, calls, or video chats can be lifelines. Ask open-ended questions and normalize talking about mental health without judgment or fixing.

3. Setting Up Mental Health Support Before They Go

Before the semester starts, help your teen prepare:

• Research on-campus counseling centers and their availability

• Make a list of local therapists and walk-in clinics near campus

• Ensure they know how to refill prescriptions or access medical care

• Talk through mental health consent laws (especially important for over-18s)

• Discuss healthy coping skills like mindfulness, exercise, peer support, and asking for help

Normalize therapy as a tool, not a crisis response. It’s just as vital as having a class schedule or dorm key.

4. Your Mental Health Matters Too

This isn’t just a transition for them—it’s for you. Parents often feel:

• Grief and loss (even if you’re proud)

• Anxiety about their safety, choices, and wellbeing

• A shifting sense of identity, especially if parenting was a central role

Give yourself permission to feel it all. Stay connected to your own support system. Talk to friends, journal, seek therapy if needed. Remember: letting go is not the same as abandoning—it’s trusting that the roots you gave them are strong enough to grow on their own.

5. Final Thoughts: Letting Go with Love

Sending a child off to college is a beautiful paradox—full of joy, fear, pride, and uncertainty. The best gift you can give them is your steady presence, even from afar, and the confidence that they can care for themselves—and ask for help when they can’t.

Support their mental health by modeling care for your own. This new chapter isn’t the end of parenting; it’s just a different kind of closeness.