Surviving the Holiday Season

From the therapy office of Cara Murray, LPC

The holiday season often brings a mix of joy, stress, expectation, and emotional complexity. In my work with clients, I see how this time of year can intensify everything we’re already carrying—family dynamics, grief, financial strain, perfectionism, and the pressure to make the season “feel” a certain way.

Here are some tools to support you in staying grounded, connected, and compassionate with yourself as you move through the holidays.

Boundaries don’t take a holiday.

We can feel  stretched thin during the holidays. Boundaries are one of the most powerful forms of emotional self-care. Boundaries and self care during the holidays can look like saying no to events we don’t want to be at.  Limiting how long we commit to events.   Planning for triggering interactions before they happen.  You’re allowed to protect your peace—without guilt.  “I’d love to come but I can’t make it this year”, can go a long way.  Remember, people are allowed to feel disappointed or let down if you don’t attend something or create a boundary. That doesn’t mean you change your boundary. 

Marie Kondo your holiday plans.

 Instead of operating from obligation, try stepping back and thinking about what brings you joy.   What holiday traditions feel nourishing, make you happy, and do you truly enjoy?  What can be simplified?  What can I let go of that no longer serves me or my family?  Intentional planning reduces anxiety and helps you stay aligned with your emotional needs.

Self care and healthy routines are a gift yourself.

We know sleep, movement, and nourishment anchor the nervous system. Our routines don’t need to be perfect, but they can really anchor us in the chaotic season. A 10-minute walk, a full glass of water, or a good night's sleep can make a real difference in your emotional regulation.

 Money is energy, don’t give it all away.

Overspending is a common holiday stressor I hear about this time of year. Setting a clear, realistic budget helps reduce that pressure. Love is not measured in what we buy each other. The same applies to your emotional energy, spend it where it feels reciprocal and supportive

Make Space for Grief and Mixed Emotions

Many clients tell me the holidays bring old wounds or highlight who is not there, from either death or separation. You’re not alone if this season feels heavy.  Let yourself honor your grief, whether privately or with trusted people.  Traditions can evolve.  Holidays are a source of joy and sadness.  There is no perfect way to spend them.

Connect with People Who Feel Like Home

The holidays can be isolating, especially if family relationships are strained. Focus on strengthening connection with friends, partners, chosen family, or supportive communities. Emotional safety is a gift you can give yourself.

         If this time of year feels heavier than usual, therapy can offer a steady grounding place to support you through navigating stress, setting boundaries, healing family patterns, and making the season more manageable and meaningful.  However this season looks for you, I hope you move through it with compassion, softness, and space for your true emotional experience. You deserve holidays that feel safe, not stressful.   Remember, we may love watching holiday movies, but real life holidays don’t follow Hollywood scripts.